At least when you're married, the bills can be split into two...

The conversation started normal but then it got ugly.





Quote :
"Oi! When u r married mana ada bill split in 2 punya. Itu Husband bayar semua ler, and I mean all! Wife tak bayar apa2 punya (satu sen pon tak ada keluar), tukang belanja lagi ada ler! Mana ada sharing punya. Our money is yours to spend, but your money is yours alone! But when we come looking u better be ready to render your services due. Don't give us your; ".... I have a headache tonight...." nonsense."

I already deleted it but I said:

Faisal, WTF? I pay my share ok! How dare you generalise us wives! If your wife (if you do have a wife, that is) is a bloodsucker, I pity you. But respect the rest.

Okay, maybe I was a bit harsh but I was very offended when he said “But when we come looking u better be ready to render your services due.”

Like, wow. Macam tu je taraf isteri kat mata dia? To RENDER SERVICES?

But obviously he didn’t get it and so the conversation continued as below:-




Quote:

"Hello, Dianne. Real Wives are not required to pay anything (not accountable for a single action) from the moment they open their eyes till the day they close them. That is the purpose of marriage in the first place. The transference of guardianship from father to husband. Real Husbands are forbidden to consume a single cent of their wives' earning. We are sole providers. There are no two ways about that. If you're married and still splitting the bills then I pity you both. I think you are still young and very naive. You don't know my wife so don't preach your politically correct "I pay my share" BULLSHIT. It's so contrived. The sharing part is never about money. She doesn't pay the bills but she renders an unsurpassed service most husbands will never know, least of all yours. I respect all women, mothers, and wives who knows their proper place. Do you? And yes, when you grow very old you will discover that in the end ALL WIVES ARE THE SAME, as all husbands are. Get real!"

CONTRADICTION, NO? The way he put all these exclamation mark on the first comment like he was angry that we wives are spending husband’s money like nobody’s business. But on the second one, he’s saying that he’s SUPPOSED to give pulak. HUH?

I wonder when he got married because being YOUNG, of course we have to split the bills. It doesn’t make any sense to let the husband pay for every single thing!

Nak goyang kaki je? WOW. At our age (I’m 26 btw), tell me HOW MANY can actually provide EVERYTHING to their wives? Especially when you have children?

disclaimer: if you're in a different league i.e older than me, have your own business, parents are rich and they give you monthly allowances, successful blogger bla bla bla this doesn’t apply ok

from the way I see it, this person is an arrogant husband. it’s fine if you can give everything to your wife but to those who can’t? jangan kawin? yet u wonder why ramai yang lambat kahwin?
one of the reason is because of this kind of thinking lah.

Listen. to all husbands out there. we, wives, love you as much as you do (if you don’t anymore, then that’s another story). masa bercinta and study sama-sama kat U dulu bole share macam-macam, why lepas kawin kena berkira? Kalau setiap bulan suami sekalian bagi duit nafkah (ni specific ok), dan seorang yang bertanggungjawab, kami isteri-isteri yang bekerja ni langsung tak kisah nak share bayar duit rumah/kereta/letrik/air/astro tu. yelah, karang nak beli barang dapur, duit nursery anak, susu, diapers semua pun kita bayar la sama-sama. takkan duit isteri ni nak pakai buat shopping baju dengan pergi spa je kot?

duit isteri adalah hak isteri, tidak dinafikan tetapi atas prinsip asas kemanusiaan, hormat menghormati dan berkasih sayang kenapa tidak boleh dikongsi atas kerelaan? suami jangan ego, tak perlu sakit kepala berfikir macamana nak menanggung semua dan isteri jangan ego, sehingga meletakkan tanggungjawab pada bahu suami saja. yang jadi masalah bila suami yang tidak bertanggungjawab dan mempergunakan kemudahan kerana isteri bekerja. dan jadi masalah bila isteri tidak mahu menolong sedangkan dia pun ada sumber pendapatan juga.

people, ever heard of GIVE AND TAKE? kita nak hidup lama. tak guna bergaduh bila dah tua dan ungkit duit tiga ratus yang diberi 20 tahun lepas kan? and saying all men/women are the same are incorrect.

before I rest my case, i end this with an excerpt from ISLAM ONLINE. :-

In Islam, the family is the cornerstone of the society, which constitutes a brick in the huge construction of the Muslim Ummah. Therefore, Islam pays much care to the stability and well-being of the family. The Glorious Qur’an and the Prophet’s Sunnah have provided clear-cut proofs that assure this fact.

Marital life dictates mutual rights and obligations for both the husband and the wife. The husband, in principle, is held responsible for the maintenance (Nafaqah) of his wife and children regardlesss of his wife being poor or well-off. However, if the wife is a career woman, she is responsible for the charges and financial requirements of her work, such as transportation, work's dress, etc.

It goes without saying that the salary of the working wife cannot be totally hers, for her work, in one way or the other, infringes upon the rights of the husband. Therefore, we advise the working wife to consult her husband on how to spend her salary in order to maintain love and affection between them both. However, the working wife is allowed to spend a portion of her salary without seeking the permission of her husband but this should be done in a moderate way. She also can spend her money on the children and household.

As for the question in point, we’d like to cite the following Fatwa issued by Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior lecturer and an Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada:

“It stands to reason that the question here is whether the husband is entitled to the entire salary of his working wife or not. The answer to that question is: it is not permissible for the wife to claim the whole salary because basically in Islam it is the duty of the husband to provide for the expenses of his family including the food, shelter and medical expenses according to his means.

If a wife gives her husband from her salary voluntarily, it is totally permissible for the husband to make use of it. But because of the fact that the wife’s working takes its toll on the husband, the wife should be fair enough to contribute something towards the maintenance of the house and the family.

The reasonable formula would be for her to agree to pay one third of her income towards the family expenses. At no time you, the husband, should claim all of her income unless she gives it voluntarily.

Having said this, I must say that if both the husband and wife have agreed on a formula in the beginning of marital life, they are bound by the terms of the agreement unless it infringes upon the wife’s fundamental rights.”

Dr. Rif`at Fawzi, professor of Shari`ah at Cairo Univ., adds:

“You have some rights upon your wife. If she goes out for work, you are permitted to obtain a portion of her salary to spend on the family. In normal situations, marital life should be based on co-operation between the husband and wife.

Anyway, it’s the husband’s right to take part of the salary of his working wife, and spend it on the family. This will be a compensation for his rights, which the wife will be unable to fulfil because of work.”

Editor's note:

For further information, we recommend you to read Husband and Wife: Mutual Rights and Obligations .

Read more: http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/Satellite?pagename=IslamOnline-English-Ask_Scholar/FatwaE/FatwaE&cid=1119503545386#ixzz18ijMK9GH