IN BETWEEN MY HEART

I have so many drama and incidents and events happening around me now. But I'm only in the mood to comment on Emi's blog. Do read his blog first before you read the following...

#1
You just can't let it go will you?

When a person is not interested in you anymore, cry your heart out and LET GO. It doesn't help to stalk them, it doesn't help to beg them to come back, it doesn't help to write supersad status on your facebook.. They don't love you anymore! Have some dignity and walk away. Seriously. A friend of mine were asking about how to break up with his girlfriend just a few days back. The gf sent him crazy notes, suicidal texts and threatening emails just to get him back. Okay, so you got him scared and now he's back with you. Will you be happy? Knowing that he HATES you, but only stays with you because he's SCARED that you might be all loony and kill yourself? Pathetic, okay. And I remember this girl, who found me at my college room, trying to stop me for being with his ex-boyfriend because she wanted him back when he clearly told me to ignore her because he DIDNT want her back... *sigh*

#2
People do whine about their lives but everything got their limits no?

Yes, have a limit. You have 500 people on your facebook, receiving updates on your status. If you have something private to whine about, talk to your bestfriends. They'd understand. Send messages, emails whatever. But you dont need to parade your NEED to buy this Louis Vuitton handbag so badly - and your mom wouldn't let you. Unless your father is the Sultan of Brunei, chances are, you don't have enough money for EVERYTHING. Big deal.

#3
Well you had a fight with your significant other...

Or you're sooooo damn in love? Fine, whatever. This goes with #2 above. Have a limit. It annoys people. ESPECIALLY when you've only been going out for like, 5 months and you're 21 years old. Getting married anytime soon? Unlikely. So spare us the eyesore. One more thing, DO NOT upload holiday pictures with your significant other, with you wearing bikinis AND THEN complaint how people talk behind your back. Or put up some nasty status, saying that you hate all these bitches for not being a TRUE friend. Come on... Get real.

Oh.

Mungkin ada idea lagi kemudian. Off for now. Like Emi said, if you don't agree.. ini blog saya.

Heh.

Alhamdulillah, my darling Kak Epi* safely delivered a 2.9kg baby boy yesterday at 7.30pm... Yet to be named. I'm so excited!!



*Kak Epi is my senior colleague, we got closer throughout my one year of working with Fiberail.

I had a beautiful birthday week. The first celebration with my colleagues was a bit early for we were worried that Kak Epi would deliver her baby earlier. Tapi tak pun, she delivered exactly on her due date :)


Dianne, Kak Su and Kak Ep

Kak Naz and Kak Liza

Later that night, I went to watch The Time Traveller's Wife with hubby after a nice dinner at Spice of India, The Gardens. The movie was great, just don't think too much about it being logical. It was inspiring and romantic and sweet and sad... hmm... I haven't read the book and after reading a few reviews, it is said that the movie doesn't include things from Clare's perspective as the book does. Maybe I should buy the book, then.





I only have one day left from my annual leave. Yikes! Actually dah takde, sebab baru je apply to use it for my mom's graduation next week. She'll be receiving her Bachelor Degree in Information Technology & Management from Open University, with CGPA 3.71. Yeah.. my mom the talented superwoman.. Being an accountant with a busy schedule, she managed to study while working and attending meetings and being this and that. :p This year dia minat menjahit bunga2 kat tudung plak, pastu skarang jahit baju for herself and me plak.. I can't compete! =)



Hubby and I went for a short holiday after spending a couple of days at his kampung. We didn't go far, just PD. And we didn't do much, just spent our time inside the lovely room watching TV while eating. Bercuti kan, bayar bilik mahal2 duduk kat bilik je la. Hehe. Actually there were not much to see anyway, and the plan is just to be away from home. We love the room, the breakfast, the swimming pool with jacuzzi (yes I went swimming with my bulging tummy. :p) It wasn't perfect (it was raining for hours on the second day) but it was great that we got to spend some quiet time together. Check out the website here. But bear in mind that the water only looks blue in the morning during the high tide.


love it!

the waterchalets

hours of rain

I cooked nasi ayam (and I forgot to snap a picture of it. hehe) last Saturday for several friends who came over to celebrate my birthday and Sofeah (she turned 1 yr old on 30th Oct). We watched the football match between Kelantan and N9 while eating and though I don't feel like commenting, since I'm not a fan, but Kelantan fans should be ashamed of what they did that night. What's the point of burning the stadium? Chill lah. Wat malu orang Kelantan okay.. Kesian kat the players. Half-way dah takde support.


Nicky dalam percubaan menjadi ayah.. hehe.

More birthday celebration after this? Maybe... Hm. Ending this post with my November schedule.

11 Nov - Medical Leave

7.30 am Spine Clinic @ UMMC
9.00 am Gynae @ UMMC
2.30 pm Detail ultrasound scan @ Kelana Jaya

13 Nov

7 pm MERCY Annual Dinner @ KL Hilton
11 pm Mama, Boy and CikLong’s arrival from KB

14 Nov

9 am – 1 pm
Kelab Sukan Fiberail : Lawatan ke Rumah Anak2 Yatim

15 Nov
Shopping with Mama. Whee!
and maybe watch Pisau Cukur with Maha and several others.

16 Nov

11 pm Abah, Mek and Auntie’s arrival from KB

17 Nov

Mama has to pick up her robes and stuff
Abah & Mama check in to Legend Hotel, KL

18 Nov

Mama’s Convo @ PWTC
KSF : Chess Tournament (not attending)

19 Nov

1.00 pm KSF : Carrom Tournament
9.30 pm LCCT / Family back to KB

20 Nov

12.30 pm KSF : Congkak Tournament

21 Nov

8 am – 1 pm
KSF : Bowling Tournament @ PinJunction, Cineleisure Damansara

22 Nov

2.30 pm Maternity Photoshoot with Sue Anna Joe / Sue Anna Joe

26 – 28 Nov

Aidil Adha @ Penang

29 Nov

HUBBY'S 25th BIRTHDAY! =)

my first birthday cake this year, secret recipe's chocolate cheesecake.

.... more celebration to come. Haha. Thanks for the wishes!

jangan kau bimbang sayang
di mana ku berada
dengan siapa ku bersama
jangan bimbang ku tetap kau yang punya
.
.
.
.
.
.
kenapa bermuram durja, sayang?

What is the biggest reason for people not wanting to move on with their lives? I'd say the fear. We’re all worried about the changes, the uncertainty, the failure, the insecurity - all the negatives waiting ahead. But what about the positives? The WHAT Ifs?

Take Zul for example (bukan nama sebenar) - when he was with Annie, he took her for granted. He broke up with her, saying he needs to move on with his lives. He needs to find more money. He wants a girl who can be with him, who are on the same level with him (he was still pursuing his degree while Annie was already working as an engineer). Annie couldn't care less about the so-called status. She loved him for who he was. But whatever lah kan. so they broke up. A month later he called her, wanting her back. 6 months later, he is still calling and texting. Even said that it is his "right" to call and txt, Annie's right is not to answer or reply. Whatthehell???

Two words : MOVE ON!!!

Don't be so pathetic. You made the wrong choice, learn to live with it. There's no turning back. Sometimes you'll get back what you want, but if you don't.. Then forget it. Mula-mula orang akan layan, lepas tu kesian, lepas tu menyampah, lepas tu benci… Dah spoil the whole relationship.

What if he moves on, and found the right girl? Kan dah membazir masa pursuing someone who doesn’t want him?

You need to be able to differentiate and predict your future. If Annie gives him a slight hint of possibility of getting back together, then maybe it’s worth the trouble. But when a person actually moving on way beyond your own ability, let them go. You’re just a speck of dust in her memory, Zul.

Annie on the other hand had real friends around her and supportive family. Instead of longing for the past, she applied for a scholarship, got accepted, left her job and will start her masters programme nx month. Leaving Zul (and this other stupid guy - but that's another story) with their own lives.

What if she didn’t apply for that scholarship? What if she didn’t take the challenge? She’d still be working with the same company that she doesn’t like but stayed on because she wouldn’t have a choice anymore.

The story of Farid. He has all the time in the world, young and liked by everyone.. Unmarried.. Good at his job. But that's it. He refused to search for more. Living without a goal, nothing to bring him further. Lost without spirit to succeed or do better. Is he comfortable with his job? Yes. Does he wants to do this for the rest of his lives? No. Then what? He doesn't want to think about it. He refused.

What if he’s willing to venture into the uncertainty? He could’ve further his studies, he could’ve work someplace else and make more money. And be more happy. Instead, all he could think about is going back to his root – his hometown where he would be all safe and sound in the comfort zone.

The story of Shikin. 36. Unmarried. Flirtatious. Have a good job. In love with someone else's husband. Plan to move on? None. He left her (as expected) and she became all emotional at work, refusing to focus and making the boss pissed. Nothing is gained, really. If only she channeled that flirty effort towards someone single. If only she’s strong enough to make the decision.

The story of Nadia. Has everything going great for her – loving husband, great job, family and friends. But she still wants what she couldn’t have. Greedy. She wants to move on but kept postponing the actual action. Moving on would solve a hell lot of problems and possible problems.

The story of Amir. Rich guy. Mommy's boy. No degree. No job. No real talent. Stuck at home. Has an awesome girlfriend who will soon become an accountant. No intention to move on AT ALL. He wants to be where he is forever in the safe zone without having to think about real problems in real world. If only someone would crack his skull and smash his brain to wake up.

Enough with stories.

When we're stuck at one level without any changes or improvement for the better, we need to do something. Don't let more than two years passed by without you achieving anything. Having a job is not an achievement - being happy doing it, is. Why? Because you'll get paid every month and you'll used up all the money for food and clothes and your car. If you're not happy about it than what else is there to hold you?

Get married if you want to. And don’t if you’re not ready. Do not get married if you think it’s all gonna be all rainbows and flowers and colours. NO WAY. Get ready to share and care and put love above everything else. There’s no room for selfishness. Understand the real meaning of GIVE and TAKE.

I'm lucky I'm surrounded by level-headed people. My good friends are the greatest. They know when to move on. They know their limit and when the time is running out. And these people kept me grounded, kept me thinking.. Their decisions with their lives reminds me of what I have to do to keep on going, to stop myself from being bored and stagnant.

Thank you people. You’re awesome.

ketika, kurasakan sudah
ada ruang di hatiku yang kau sentuh
dan ketika, ku sadari sudah
tak selalu indah cinta yang ada

mungkin memang, ku yang harus mengerti
bila ku bukan yang ingin kau miliki
salahkah ku bila
kau lah yang ada di hatiku

adakah ku singgah di hatimu, mungkinkah kau rindukan adaku
adakah ku sedikit di hatimu
bila kah ku mengganggu harimu, mungkin kau tak inginkan adaku
akankah ku sedikit di hatimu

bila memang, ku yang harus mengerti
mengapa cintamu tak dapat ku miliki
salahkah ku bila
kau lah yang ada di hatiku

kau yang ada, di hatiku

bila cinta kita tak kan tercipta
ku hanya sekedar ingin tuk mengerti
adakah diriku, oh singgah di hatimu
dan bilakah kau tau, kau yang ada, di hatiku

kau yang ada, di hatiku
adakah ku, di hatimu

Okay, so I did it again. After revamping my blog, I stopped writing proper blogs. Ampun. Kesibukan mengatasi segalanya. Eceh. Macam aku sorang jek yang sibuk eh. :) But seriously, time puasa dengan raya tu sangat-sangat sibuk. I had events after events to look after. And endless list of to-do things. Lepas habis open-house company baru boleh bernafas. Dan sesungguhnya sepanjang minggu lepas, saya telah memperlahankan kelajuan otak dan tenaga. More focus on my getting-bigger-by-minute tummy, actually.

As of today, I'm 5 months pregnant. A secret that is not a secret anymore. It was my intention to keep it low. Tak baik bermegah-megah, kalau jadi apa-apa kat baby nanti mesti saiko sebab dah over-excited. Jadi semoga kandungan ini dilindungi Allah, dan sihat selamat sehingga dilahirkan. Ameen....


Left : 6 months ago... Right : now... hehe.

I also have no intention to write about my pregnancy in this blog. Therefore I have opened one special blog for all notes and information about my experience.

Anyway... walaupun dah agak terlambat, let's talk about my puasa and raya. :) Masa kecik2 dulu abah (he worked for Bank Bumiputra/Bumiputra-Commerce/CIMB) selalu dapat hampers masa raya atau Chinese New Year. best ooo dapat hamper. ada macam2 snacks and chocolates. tapi dulu punya macam kat supermarket tu la. mana ada macam sekarang, grand habis. So this year, since I'm the Corp Comm rep, I received a few hampers / cookies boxes. The nicest one was from Legend Hotel. I was super excited! haha. FIRST TIME okay.. jakun. :p


from Legend Hotel

from cookies supplier


from PJ Hilton

The biggest task I had to do during Ramadhan were choosing Hari Raya card and angpow packet designs and raya gift for customers. Sounds easy? It wasn't, seriously. Lemme list down the stages I had to go through...

1. find a few suppliers (call/email)
2. ask them to send samples (a few days)
3. prepare comparison chart between suppliers for the boss (include price, quantity, artwork, delivery dates etc)
4. wait to see the big boss for approval on samples
5. prepare proposal and budget
6. wait for approval of proposal
7. make order
8. confirming the artwork
8. make requisition for cheque with logistics dept (include invoice)
9. package delivery
10. send delivery order for approval with logistics dept for preparation of cheque with finance dept.
11. email out to all staff to collect their kad raya/angpow/kuih raya. print list of name for them to sign upon acceptance.
12. literally EVERYONE will drop by at my lil cubicle to collect everything (lasted for one whole week).
13. prepare 18 different boxes with different quantity of kad raya/angpow/kuih raya to be sent to all regional offices all over Malaysia, don't forget to wrap it! and stick the PosLaju form on it.
14. DONE.


boxes ready to be sent to regional offices

okay, next is the preparation for Raya Gathering for 600 customers and staff. Of course, the list of to-do things is way longer...... no, takdela satu kerja dianne nk tulis kat sini suh korang tengok kan.. my point is.. I don't sit around the office doing nothing okay. some people ingat mentang2 I'm not in Finance or Engineering, kerja dianne mudah gila la. excuse me ye.

Having said that... so what if I spend a couple of minutes on facebook once in awhile just to ease the pain in my brain?? hahaha.


Our company's Raya Gathering at Bukit Kiara Equestrian & Country Resort

I spent my raya in Kelantan, Johor, Penang and Kedah. Met both sides of the family. Travelled around Malaysia! Adeh penat... Once a year okay la. Don't think we'll do it again next year though. :p



When we came back to KL, we "opened" our house to friends and colleagues. Masak la serba sedikit. But Said wasn't around during the "peak hours"... orang tengah datang ramai2 tu bley plak dia gi ofis sb ada meeting due to Padang earthquake. Haih...





Moving on...

Nyah graduated last week. The last one among us. She's now officially Dr. Nor Amirah. Yay! I have 24/7 free consultation. Jangan jealous aa.. :) p/s : IIUM is the coolest. haha



And this is my closest cousin, Fie's wedding. Went back to my hometown to attend the ceremony last Saturday. Everything went well, alhamdulillah... Lepas ni Petronas nak kuarkan circular pasal takley kawen sesama staff pun.. diorang dah selamat. hehe.



Final note. I've been rejecting a lot of people's friend request on facebook lately. I'm sorry. But if I click your page and I couldn't recognise your face, then I'll reject you. I don't see the purpose of us being friends, really. Even if we're linked by 16 people, if I don't know you takkan nak buat2 kenal ye tak? I'm not a celebrity. If I am, then I can say, Oh.. this guy/girl peminat i kotttttt.... Please lah. *roll eyes* I'm NOT. Kalau memang u kenal 50 orang je fine lah.. Tak perlu berlagak ada 500 kawan.

Oh. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY to me. One great year with Fiberail. Saya suka kerja saya. =)

Fever Classification

Grade	°C	°F
low grade	38–39	100.4–102.2
moderate	39–40	102.2–104.0
high-grade	40–41.1	104.0–106.0
hyperpyrexia	>41.1	>106.0

I've been having fever for quite a few times lately, didn't notice it until I went to see doctor. I might not feel a thing (other than tiredness) but usually my temperature would go up to 39 degrees. Tapi lepas baca wikipedia lega sket... 39 tu baru low grade.. takde apelah kut kan...

Ke?

the husband took the car today since our other car is in the workshop. therefore he sent me to my office this morning.

which is fine.

but when it's 5.45pm and i'm stuck alone in my office (office hour ends at 4.30pm during Ramadhan)... and im tired as hell because of the gazillion workload on my desk... and i have been working non-stop (except during zohor & asr prayers) since 8 am... and when i called him at 5.15pm he was still at his office... and it's gonna take him at least half an hour (usually more) to reach me....

saya rasa nak marah.

sekian.

I just got back from a long weekend in Kota Bharu. Home, as always, is the greatest. I felt safe, I felt like I didn't have to do anything to prove myself.. I cooked and slept and watched tv and went shopping. Four days went by too quickly. *sigh*

But as a rule, my life won't be perfect without a lil drama. For the first time in my life, I missed my flight. I had the experience of being late and too late but they still checked me in. But this time, I went totally overboard by thinking (confidently, I should add) that my Air Asia flight was at 5pm when I actually booked it at 9am. And I only realised it by 2.40pm when the luggage was already packed and I was ready to go. I made the mistake because I had bought two sets of return tickets for KL-KB-KL, one for Ramadhan and one for Syawal. Both my KL-KB flights are at 11am but my KB-KL, 5pm flight was for Syawal. For some reason, I trusted my memory - when it has cheated on me numerous time before. And for some reason too, I didn't forward the ticket to my husband who, for some reason didn't ask to see it like he usually does.

Unlucky twist of fate.

Mom already asked me to check the flight schedule the night before but I didn't. Instead, I have been telling my bestfriends that Air Asia Buka Puasa menu looks good so I hope my flight will be delayed so I'll get the chance to buy the food. Boleh tak...

Mom, dad and the husband weren't mad at me. They were more like, well, dissappointed. Which is worse. Mom nagged at first but then changed to this shaking-head-why-are-you-so-careless mode. I'm sorry!!!!!

One sentence from mom got me thinking though.. That I hide my mistakes and not brave enough to face it (or sumth like that lah). She said that when she asked for the new ticket price (oh, I had to buy Firefly tix and came back to KL this morning - other merdeka eve's flights were all booked - and arrived at the office at 11.45am) and I said "you don't wanna know" - because it cost me RM500.

She was right.

I'm too secretive that I do things on my own and guard myself too tight. I'm so used to keep things to myself that sometimes it gets out of control without me realising it. Of course, I tell (almost) everything to Eein and Add but it feels like I always stash away this few puzzles of my story. Not in one place, its everywhere! And like I said before, I dare to do it though my memory is known to fail me! How dangerous.

A friend once told me that I have a colourful life, there's always some "juicy" stuff behind every corner of my life. I tell half of it to one person and another half to another person but still have plenty to keep to myself. And as I'm writing this, I feel like no one actually know me except for me - which I also doubt because of my (almost) Dory-like mind.

Work is different, I think I'm professional enough. But personally?
Yes, mom is right.

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device via Vodafone-Celcom Mobile.